1. Holiday Distress: Why Isn’t My Life Perfect?

    During the holidays, it’s easier than at other times to become sad or depressed. Holiday time is when our thoughts turn to family and friends. It’s a time when we feel our need to be surrounded by people whom we love and who love us. It’s when we miss people who are no longer with us, when we have the time to call up memories, and when we often feel badly about ourselves and our lives. It’…Read More

  2. The Romance is Gone! 4 Ways to Restore Intimacy

    One of the loudest complaints I hear in my Marriage Counseling practice here at Long Island Counseling is the romance that is gone! No more romantic dinners! No quiet evenings together! No special getaways! No romance in the bedroom! No pillow talk! We’ve lost the spark! Help! Sometimes, it’s obvious that things have changed. Some clear signs that romance and sexual excitement have left the re…Read More

  3. Forgiveness: Healing the Hidden Injury

    Studies show that the practice of forgiveness can reduce depression, stress, anger and hurt. Forgiveness can generate a sense of peace, compassion, hope and self-confidence. It can put you on a path to healthier relationships and to a physically healthier you. Forgiveness influences us to open our hearts to beauty, kindness and love. To practice forgiveness, we are assured that it does not necessa…Read More

  4. Emptiness: What’s Missing?

    We speak frequently about the spaces inside of us. We say “I’m full,” after a big meal. When we encounter someone superficial, we say “He’s an empty suit.” The phrase “full of herself,” denotes grandiosity or an excess of self-regard. As you can see, we make reference to the fullness or emptiness of the inside self. In this blog, I’d like to explore more deeply the question of em…Read More

  5. VOLATILE RELATIONSHIPS:Rage and Obliteration

    I’d like to talk about volatility in relationships. You know what I mean: tempers get hot and things go from zero to sixty at the drop of a hat. Before you know it, you’re both screaming at the top of your lungs, hurling epitaphs at each other, and possibly even crossing the line into physical abuse. It’s when the desire to hurt and injure takes over. (And often it’s when one or both of th…Read More

  6. SEX: 5 Common Problems

    Sex takes place in the brain first!  Even with well-functioning sex organs, the ability to become aroused and sex hormones at appropriate levels, couples can fail to have satisfying sex.  That’s because if the self feels awkward, unsafe or distracted, the mind often can’t wall-off those feelings, and as a result, can’t surrender to any erotic impulses. Here are 5 common problems that can i…Read More

  7. Self Assertion: Entitled to Feel Entitled

      I recently heard about a woman’s second date with a man she had met online.  They were both in their late 50’s, with careers and grown children.  He was picking her up for breakfast, a quick get-together in the middle of the week.  They had both enjoyed their first date and were each eager to connect again before the next weekend.  After their breakfast, she had to return to her off…Read More

  8. NARCISSISTS: Why It’s All About Them

    The Narcissist:  We’ve all met one! They’re hard to miss because they generate powerful reactions in us.  They can anger us and make us feel we don’t exist. They can hurt us and make us feel our needs are not important.  They often turn us into their personal audience; they have little interest in truly knowing who we are or what we need beyond how it serves their own agenda. In short, th…Read More

  9. ARE YOU PRETENDING? False Self or Real Self?

    A false self develops to accommodate the unspoken needs of a parent who’s continued love and support are connected to the child’s ongoing accommodations.  A false self persists in the child long after the parent’s mandate is relevant and long after the child has grown.  Tragically, a false self interferes with living an authentic and satisfying life. DO YOU FEEL AUTHENTIC? Do you feel enti…Read More