1. Emptiness: What’s Missing?

    We speak frequently about the spaces inside of us. We say “I’m full,” after a big meal. When we encounter someone superficial, we say “He’s an empty suit.” The phrase “full of herself,” denotes grandiosity or an excess of self-regard.…Read More

  2. VOLATILE RELATIONSHIPS:Rage and Obliteration

    I’d like to talk about volatility in relationships. You know what I mean: tempers get hot and things go from zero to sixty at the drop of a hat. Before you know it, you’re both screaming at the top of your lungs, hurling epitaphs at each other, a…Read More

  3. SEX: 5 Common Problems

    Sex takes place in the brain first!  Even with well-functioning sex organs, the ability to become aroused and sex hormones at appropriate levels, couples can fail to have satisfying sex.  That’s because if the self feels awkward, unsafe or distra…Read More

  4. Self Assertion: Entitled to Feel Entitled

      I recently heard about a woman’s second date with a man she had met online.  They were both in their late 50’s, with careers and grown children.  He was picking her up for breakfast, a quick get-together in the middle of the week.  They…Read More

  5. NARCISSISTS: Why It’s All About Them

    The Narcissist:  We’ve all met one! They’re hard to miss because they generate powerful reactions in us.  They can anger us and make us feel we don’t exist. They can hurt us and make us feel our needs are not important.  They often turn us i…Read More

  6. ARE YOU PRETENDING? False Self or Real Self?

    A false self develops to accommodate the unspoken needs of a parent who’s continued love and support are connected to the child’s ongoing accommodations.  A false self persists in the child long after the parent’s mandate is relevant and long …Read More

  7. PSYCHOANALYSIS: Healing and Understanding

    The problem with psychoanalysis is that it defies easy definition.  We start with Freud who privileged a segmented mind at war with itself, and move through more than 100 years of theory and practice to arrive at the present. Today, psychoanalysis i…Read More

  8. WHY SOME MARRIAGES FAIL: Repairing Past Injuries

    Marriages fail.  In fact, the American Psychological Association tells us that 40-50 percent of all marriages end in divorce.  Why?  Here’s an explanation .  .  . I want to try to write here about the unlikely union of Joe, the only child of m…Read More

  9. HOW TO FIGHT WELL: 5 Ways to Keep It Fair

    Fights happen!  All couples fight.  It’s just that couples in healthy relationships fight better.  Unhealthy relationships or marriages with a high degree of conflict suffer because the partners don’t know how to fight well. THE GOODNESS OF TH…Read More