TRANSGENDER QUESTIONS: Understanding Identity
The sexuality conversation: Gay. Lesbian. Straight. Bisexual. Transgender. Cisgender. Questioning. Are you having the sexuality conversation? Are your friends? Your kids? Are you confused about what you’re hearing? Are you distressed about what you’re feeling or thinking about? Do you want to have the sexuality conversation? WHAT IS GENDER IDENTITY? Gender identity is the gender…
KEEPING LOVE: How To Keep Love in Your Relationship
Recognition—in all of its various aspects—is the key to keeping love alive. If you don’t see or understanding something important about yourself or partner, or if your partner doesn’t “get” something important about you or about himself, the small disappointments not recognized become bigger disappointments that won’t go away. Recognition doesn’t mean you have to…
TONE: How Your Tone of Voice Affects the Communication
My grandmother used to say, “If you cook with love, it tastes better.” Modifying that slightly, I say, “If you speak with love, it sounds better.” What am I getting at? Tone. The way a phrase, comment or question sounds is as important as its content. Human communications expert and psychologist Albert Mehrabian pointed out…
THERAPY: 5 Myths Worth Talking About
Therapy has always held a certain mystique. Some patients lay down on a couch. Some analysts don’t say a word. The office is dimly lit. Secrets are uncovered in a seemingly endless treatment. Age-old problems evaporate and childhood comes alive. Sex takes on new importance. Right? Not exactly. Let’s take another look. Myth #1 …
HAPPINESS: What’s Getting In the Way?
What do we mean when we say “I’m unhappy”? or “I’m not happy”? And, what do we mean when we ask “How can I find happiness”? or “How can I be happier”? Happiness, as we know, is not necessarily jumping up and down with glee. And, it may not even be when we’re smiling. Most…
DEPRESSION: How We Talk About It
Google “Depression” and you’ll find a lot of articles that describe depression. Articles listing symptoms such as lethargy, persistent sadness, numbness, or amplified negative emotions, changes in appetite and/or sleep patterns, decline in ability to focus or to attend to work and daily responsibilities, and a retreat from socializing. Other articles about depression list solutions…
EMOTIONAL ATTUNEMENT: Strengthening Your Marriage
WHAT’S THE EMOTIONAL TONE OF YOUR MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP? There’s a lot of chatter about what behaviors help strengthen a marriage or relationship. Much of that chatter points to the value of spending time together. We see numerous references to “shared values,” or “shared interests,” and “shared goals.” Couples who do things together are healthier…
Self-Esteem and Self Confidence
UNDERSTANDING FEAR OF FAILURE Do you feel self-confident? Do you have a decent amount of self-esteem? A little? Not so much? Depends on what we’re talking about? Well, what are we talking about? Are we talking about moxie, bluster, extroversion? Are we talking about pride, gregariousness, popularity? Are we talking about the absence of…
BOREDOM: Bored With Your Relationship?
EMOTIONAL SAFETY IS IMPORTANT: Emotional safety is important in healthy relationships. No well-functioning relationship can work if the partners feel frightened, afraid, tense, or expect the other to walk out the door any minute. And emotional safety is key to building trust, human connection and growth. It promotes intimacy, vulnerability and a durable sense of…
FEAR OF FAILURE: How It Works
Do you feel self-confident? Do you have a decent amount of self-esteem? A little? Not so much? Depends on what we’re talking about? Well, what are we talking about? Are we talking about moxie, bluster, extroversion? Are we talking about pride, gregariousness, popularity? Are we talking about the absence of shame, embarrassment, fear of failure?…