What You Need To Know About Marriage Counseling:
We want to try marriage counseling, but how do we know whether it's right for us?
Can we come in for a consultation before deciding?
Marriage counseling or couples' counseling is an investment of time, energy and money. You don't want to waste any of these. It's important to be comfortable with the clinician and to feel she's able to work well with you.
Scheduling a consultation is a smart way to become introduced. And it's a smart way to learn about how the therapist works before deciding to commit to a course of treatment. You'll have the chance to spend a session together and for each of you to explain what you're struggling with.
You'll also have the opportunity to hear her initial thoughts. Most importantly, you'll have the chance to see whether the clinician is a good fit. A good clinician understands the value of an initial consultation and should offer you this option.
If, after the consultation, you and your partner feel well-matched with the clinician, then you can move on to discuss other items such as frequency of sessions, length of treatment and other administrative concerns.
Compassion:
How well does the clinician listen to you and to your partner?
Any clinician, including a marriage counselor must be skilled in listening. Not only must she hear what you’re saying, but she also must be able to hear what you’re not saying and provide comment and interpretation without judgment.
Clarity:
How well does she appear to understand your concerns?
Empathy, wisdom and compassion play a large part in enabling a good clinician to understand her patients’ concerns. When helping a struggling couple through a crisis in their marriage, the no marriage counselor uses these to explain and interpret complex and painful couple dynamics.
Wisdom:
How clearly does she answer your questions?
Questions always arise. As a patient, you’re entitled to ask and to receive the best answer possible from your therapist. She draws on her experience and expertise to help you understand the problem and to begin to frame the solution.
Fairness:
Is she balanced and able to treat the couple without favoring one partner over the other?
A skilled marriage counselor treats the couple with fairness, dignity and respect, taking care to provide a balanced approach to understanding and interpreting the couple’s struggles.
Experience:
Does she have the experience needed to understand the complexity of your issue?
An experienced clinician has the benefit of her years of work that informs her understanding and deepens her work.