Are you looking for professional counseling here on Long Island?  Are you planning to marry but hoping to work out some issues in your relationship beforehand?

PREMARITAL COUNSELING: The smartest thing you and your partner can do for the health and longevity of your relationship is to engage in a brief course of short-term couples counseling.  This is particularly true if there are some recurring arguments or issues that won’t go away.

WHAT IS PREMARITAL COUNSELING?  Premarital counseling works with couples of all ages and sexual orientations that are planning to marry.  Premarital counseling is both similar and different to marriage counseling.  Like marriage counseling, it offers each partner the chance to be deeply understood in the context of the relationship.  It can help resolve areas of conflict in the relationship, particularly around hot-button issues such as money, jobs, in-laws, children and infidelity.

However, Premarital Counseling is specially tailored to meet the needs of younger couples with less experience and shared history with co-habitation, and financial and family obligation.  Additionally, there are big differences in outlook, tone and perspective that separate a long-married couple from a newly engaged couple and these differences require a different approach and different sensitivities.

BENEFITS OF PREMARITAL COUNSELING:  If you and your partner are committed to spending the rest of your lives together, premarital counseling can offer you both a safe and careful way to explore any concerns you each might have about the relationship.  A well-trained therapist can facilitate respectful exploration of both partners’ questions.  And, a well-trained therapist can help the couple reach a better understanding of their areas of conflict and find healthy ways to handle it.

WILL PREMARITAL COUNSELING JUST OPEN UP A CAN OF WORMS?  Are you worried that talking about your concerns in therapy will open up a can of worms and will eventually lead to the destruction of the relationship?   This is a good question!  Asking the question is a way of saying there are things neither of you is speaking about which feel scary, unmanageable, or confusing.  Sometimes it’s easier to sweep big problems under the rug then to confront them, since their very presence threatens the relationship itself.  So, if you’re afraid; if you’re asking this question, then you may want to ask yourself another question: If it bothers me now, how will I feel about it a year?  In 5 years?  After we have children? 

WILL PREMARITAL COUNSELING ALSO ADDRESS SEXUAL QUESTIONS:  Sex and healthy sexual relating are important parts of a good marriage.  And, premarital counseling covers a wide range of sexual issues, including frequency, orgasm, erectile dysfunction, pregnancy and premature ejaculation, to name a few.   Premarital counseling also covers a wide range of more nuanced or subtle sexual issues such as boredom, failure to become aroused, fantasy, sex-play, eroticism and seduction.

HOW LONG DOES PREMARITAL COUNSELING USUALLY LAST?  Premarital counseling is typically short-term.  When things go well, the couple is able to make use of the therapy with small changes and a growing awareness of other.  Typically, this takes from 4-8 sessions.  Alternatively, where there are more serious issues, or the couple wishes to delve more deeply into certain areas, the treatment can take longer.   Some couples structure their treatment for weekly sessions; others prefer to meet every other week.  Long Island Counseling makes every effort to accommodate your preference.

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