If you are having marital issues, you may be considering marriage counseling. However, you may have heard that marriage counseling is ineffective, and can maybe even lead to divorce. This misconception ensures because many couples don’t seek marriage counseling until their marriage is essentially already over, using couples therapy as a last-ditch effort. The success of marriage counseling is actually largely dependent on your particular circumstances. However, if you are willing to change and want to put in the work to save your marriage, marriage counseling may give you the skills necessary to rebuild your relationship with your partner. Here are some reasons why you may seek marriage counseling.
You don’t communicate
Poor communication has a snowball effect: once you begin communicating poorly, you are on a downhill trajectory to more poor communication. Whether it is because one partner has become withdrawn, the tone of your conversations have become terse, or there is physical or emotional abuse, poor communication is detrimental to your marriage. Marriage counseling may be able to help you.
You are more like roommates than spouses
If you and your spouse seem more like roommates than partners, it may be time for marriage counseling. Sometimes, couples lose the intimacy of their marriage, and as they grow more and more distant, it begins to feel like they are simply co-existing. In this case, marriage counseling may help you reignite your passion and reconnect as a couple.
There has been infidelity
When one or both partners has an affair, it is possible to recover the marriage, but it requires work to restore the lost trust. The marriage may be salvageable if both partners are willing to dedicate themselves to therapy and work hard to forgive and move forward with the relationship.
Your problems cannot be resolved
In this situation, you may be aware of what your problems are in the marriage, but are at a loss for how to resolve these conflicts. In this case, a neutral third party can provide insight into how you can move beyond these issues. Marriage counseling can be beneficial if you find that you keep having the same argument without resolution. Marriage counseling can help you develop the skills necessary to resolve conflict without needing separation.
You separate to deal with arguments
Some couples rely on separation to resolve their arguments; however, taking a break is only helpful if it is brief and infrequent. If you find your separations are lasting longer and longer, you are only avoiding the problem instead of addressing it.
When you’re staying together for the kids
If your marriage has dissolved but you are staying together for the sake of the children, marriage counseling may help you determine what is truly best for your family. Many couples believe they are doing the right thing for their children when they stay in an unhappy marriage, but this is often not the case. Children are very perceptive, and if their parents are pretending to be happy, they will pick up on it. Marriage counseling may be able to help you work through your issues and re-establish your bond, or to amicably resolve and part ways depending on what is best for each of you and your family.
Beyond these reasons, there are many ways couples can benefit from counseling. Even if your relationship is healthy, going to marriage counseling now may give you the skills necessary to navigate future conflicts while keeping your relationship intact. When you need a marriage counselor in Long Island, contact Long Island Counseling. We may be able to help you rebuild trust with your partner through improved communication. Contact us today to learn more about our counseling services.