Many of the couples who seek marriage counseling in Long Island cite money as a major concern in their relationship. For some couples, money and finances can become the main point of disagreement in the relationship. Issues surrounding money can become so toxic that it can lead to the end of your marriage. There are a number of things you can do in order to take the emotion out of your financial discussions and learn how to discuss finances with your partner in an honest and productive way. Here are some tips you can try at home when it comes to your next discussion about money and marriage.
Find a neutral time for the discussion.
The worst time to talk about finances is when you are upset about them. If this is an on-going issue in your marriage, it’s time to schedule a money meeting together. Pick a time when you are both rested, fed, and ready to have an honest discussion. Choose a weekend day so you aren’t tired from work and can give yourselves a couple hours for the discussion.
Talk about your money values.
Do you know what each other’s values are when in comes to money? This is an important thing to discuss with each other because it will help you to better understand where your partner is coming from and why they make the choices that they do. Maybe they value saving money because they know the pain of poverty. Maybe you enjoy spending money on food because going out to eat is a chance to spend time together. Knowing why you spend money the way that you do can help you understand each other.
Discuss goals for your finances.
Set some goals that you can both work towards together. Maybe you want to pay off your debt or start saving to buy a home. Setting goals that you are both excited about can help you work together as a team with your finances instead of competing against each other. Write down your goals and set a time each week to review your progress. This will help you stay on track.
Be open and honest about spending.
No one wants to feel guilty about the money they spend. Talk to each other about what’s a reasonable amount to spend before you need to check in with the other person. Maybe you can spend up to $100 on something without checking in, but anything over that needs to have mutual approval. You can also set monthly allowances for each person, and that money doesn’t need to be justified or accounted for by the other person. That way you can both spend on the things you enjoy without worrying about getting into trouble.
Set a budget together.
Even if you are financially comfortable, setting a budget can be extremely helpful. It helps both people in the relationship visualize where all the money is going and gets everyone on the same page in terms of the household budget. It’s a good idea to check in on the budget at least every two weeks to ensure that you are staying on track.
Do you need help taking on money issues in your relationship? Our Long Island marriage counseling can help. Visit our website to make an appointment today.