There is a lot that goes into a happy and healthy marriage, and most couples would agree that it takes hard work. At Long Island Counseling, our goal is to give couples the tools they need to succeed in their marriage. We offer a variety of services, including couple’s counseling, sex counseling, and more. Whether you’re having problems in your marriage or you simply want to strengthen your bond as a couple, our dedicated relationship therapists are here to help. Browse our website to learn more, and give us a call today to schedule an appointment. In the meantime, continue reading below for five steps that you and your spouse should take to achieve a happy marriage.

Step 1: Change Your Routine

When you get married, it’s easy to get into a routine that you follow each day — you wake up, go to work, come home, make dinner, or you eat out at the same restaurants you’ve always gone to. If you continue this pattern day after day, you may quickly find yourself in a rut. Instead of getting bored with the same routine, encourage some change in your relationship. Try new restaurants, or go ice skating or dancing on your night out. Change will keep your relationship live and fresh so that you’re not stuck in the same routine every day.

Step 2: Practice Affirmative Affection

It’s common for couples to take each other for granted. Your spouse is a part of your life and they do so many things for you, but when was the last time you told them how much you appreciate all that they do? Affirmative affection is the practice of telling your partner how much you love, appreciate, and admire them. It’s important to be open and acknowledge your affirmative feelings for your spouse. Telling them that you care will make them feel appreciated, and it will help you grow as a couple.

Step 3: Make Friends Outside of Your Marriage

Spending time with your spouse is important, but spending too much time with anyone can lead to boredom and irritation. For this reason, it’s a good idea to make friends outside of your relationship so that you’ll have other people that you can spend time with. For example, many women have a close group of girlfriends who they like to hang out with and go on trips with. Spending time with other people outside of your relationship is healthy and allows you to miss your partner while you’re away.

Step 4: Lower Your Expectations

Conflict is a normal part of any marriage and it’s actually healthy to disagree every now and then. That being said, one of the most common sources of conflict among couples is that one or both spouses have expectations for the marriage that are too high. If you set your expectations too high, you will inevitably be disappointed and want to start a fight. In order to achieve a happy marriage, it’s better to sit down with your spouse and list the two most important expectations that you both have for your relationship. It will make it easier for both of you to reach those expectations, and your relationship will be better because of it.

Step 5: Go on Dates

Once you’re married, you may fall into a routine where you don’t have time to go on dates, or maybe your date nights have morphed into movie and pizza. If you have kids or busy work schedules, taking the time out of your lives to go on a date may seem impossible, but it’s important to set aside one day every so often to go out as a couple and spend some time together. That being said, you want to make sure that your date night is special and doesn’t involve talking about money or kids or work. Get to know your partner again and rediscover what made you fall in love in the first place.

Interested in Couple’s Counseling?

These are just a few steps that can help you achieve a happy marriage. However, if you and your spouse are having problems, or you simply want to strengthen your relationship, the professionals at Long Island Counseling are here to help. We offer a variety of services for couples, including couple’s counseling, sex counseling, and more! If you are interested, give us a call today to schedule an appointment.

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