Long Island Counseling Blog

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KEEPING LOVE: How To Keep Love in Your Relationship

May 17, 2017

Recognition—in all of its various aspects—is the key to keeping love alive.  If you don’t see or understanding something important about yourself or partner,  or if your partner doesn’t “get” something important about you or about himself, the small disappointments not recognized become bigger disappointments that won’t go away. Recognition doesn’t mean you have to…

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TONE: How Your Tone of Voice Affects the Communication

May 10, 2017

My grandmother used to say, “If you cook with love, it tastes better.”  Modifying that slightly, I say, “If you speak with love, it sounds better.” What am I getting at? Tone.  The way a phrase, comment or question sounds is as important as its content.  Human communications expert and psychologist Albert Mehrabian pointed out…

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EMOTIONAL ATTUNEMENT: Strengthening Your Marriage

April 11, 2017

WHAT’S THE EMOTIONAL TONE OF YOUR MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP?  There’s a lot of chatter about what behaviors help strengthen a marriage or relationship.  Much of that chatter points to the value of spending time together.   We see numerous references to “shared values,” or “shared interests,” and “shared goals.”  Couples who do things together are healthier…

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BOREDOM: Bored With Your Relationship?

April 7, 2017

EMOTIONAL SAFETY IS IMPORTANT:  Emotional safety is important in healthy relationships.  No well-functioning relationship can work if the partners feel frightened, afraid, tense, or expect the other to walk out the door any minute.  And emotional safety is key to building trust, human connection and growth.  It promotes intimacy, vulnerability and a durable sense of…

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What to Expect from Sex Therapy

March 23, 2017

When you are having sexual issues in your relationship, it can feel hopeless. Maybe everything else in your relationship is great, but the sexual component has just never quite come together. Maybe your sex life has always been great, but recently, due to stress, arguments, or other factors, it has lost its luster. Maybe you…

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CAN WE WORK IT OUT: How To Decide?

February 27, 2017

DISCERNMENT COUNSELING HELPS YOU DECIDE . . . . Are We Compatible? Couples facing the question whether to try to repair the marriage or divorce typically ask the question: are we compatible? All Couples Fight:  And couples certainly get on each other’s nerves.  Living together is sometimes like a train wreck waiting to happen.  Bad habits…

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KISSING: Why We Stopped

February 22, 2017

WHY MARRIED COUPLES DON’T FRENCH KISS ANYMORE .  .  . . Oh How Delicious It Is!  Slow sweet sexy kissing.  Open-mouthed or closed-mouthed.  Delicate little rose-bud kissing or long-stemmed, rain-drenched, full-bloom kissing.  The feeling of desire, of compassion, of erotic connection. Sadly, Many Couples Report They’ve Stopped French Kissing Entirely. In my office, couples I tell…

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​ARE WE COMPATIBLE: How to Measure

February 21, 2017

7 HEALTHY BEHAVIORS OF COMPATIBLE COUPLES Don’t Confuse Similarity With Compatibility.  We’ve all heard new lovers exclaim, “We’re soul-mates.  She likes everything that I liked”!  Indeed, similarity or sameness is a powerful driver. Across all spectrums, people seek others who come from the same country of origin, who are the same race or religion, who…

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​SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? Helping You Decide

February 14, 2017

HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU’RE MARRIAGE IS WORTH SAVING .  .  .  Help with answering this question is called Discernment Counseling, servicing the couple that has not yet decided, and needs help making this decision.    DISCERNMENT COUNSELING IS NOT MARRIAGE COUNSELING   Discernment Counseling recognizes and respects that the struggling couple is most…

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MARRIAGE COUNSELING: How It Really Works

February 10, 2017

Taking a Look Behind Closed Doors What is marriage counseling? What should you expect from marriage counseling? How does it help? Can marriage or couples counseling save a failing relationship? It’s mysterious—what goes on behind the closed doors in a marriage counseling office. Is one partner getting a scolding for not taking out the garbage?…

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