GETTING MIND & BODY ALIGNED


GOOD SEX: Most people agree that good sex happens when both mind and body are working together.

THE BODY RESPONDS:  The body should be able to relax and become aroused, perform the desired behavior including the comfortable movement from arousal to orgasm and back to relaxation and satisfaction.

THE MIND COOPERATES:  The mind should not be flooded with distracting thoughts.  One’s mind should have a sense of erotic purpose and should feel desire and interest.  You should feel confident in your behavior and affirming of your desire for erotic engagement.

YOU KNOW WHEN IT’S NOT RIGHT:  When these two components of sex are not aligned, the sex isn’t very good.  Often it’s passable.  Often there’s pretense and misrepresentation about how good or satisfying the sex is.  We don’t want to insult our partner.  We don’t want to appear sexually dysfunctional.  We want to be easy and accommodating.  We want to be macho or feminine.  Complaining, asking for something different, sharing fears or anxieties—none of those options is easy.  But still—you know the sex just isn’t right.

LARGER PROBLEMS:  Sometimes you can’t fake it.  Loosing an erection is a painful moment.  Not becoming aroused is also a painful experience.  Failure to orgasm, failure to be interested in sex, and failure to truly enjoy sex are all larger problems that speak to a body and mind that aren’t working in harmony.

SEXUAL PSYCHOTHERAPY:  You can’t just decide to correct sexual anxiety, or undo a life-long fear of penetration, or an overriding shame about sex.  With the help of a well-trained and experienced sex therapist, however, sexual psychotherapy can work with you to bring body and mind into better alignment.

HOW IT WORKS:  Sexual psychotherapy can help you understand why you’re anxious and unable to perform.  It will help you uncover the emotional forces working against relaxing and enjoying your erotic life.  Sexual psychotherapy can carefully help you work through a painful sexual history, or a life-long habit of believing sex is bad, or distracting thoughts that take you out of the moment and interfere with healthy sexual engagement.  With patience and careful work, sexual satisfaction is within reach.

Long Island Counseling

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