LEARNING EJACULATORY CONTROL


IMPORTANCE OF GOOD SEX:  Good sex means both participants are willing and able to give and receive pleasure.  For the heterosexual couple, or for the male, same-sex male couple, a man’s inability to delay ejaculation means the loss of pleasure for his partner and the loss of a mutually satisfying sexual encounter for both partners.  We know this is not good for your sex life!

PREMATURE EJACULATION GETS IN THE WAY OF GOOD SEX:  If you suffer from premature ejaculation, it can be upsetting and embarrassing.  You may have seen it ruin a relationship.  If you’ve suffered with premature ejaculation for a while, or if you’ve suffered with it for your whole life, perhaps you’re also feeling depression or loss of self-esteem.  You may have lost some confidence in your performance in the bedroom.  We all want to feel capable of functioning sexually.  Not being able to control one’s ejaculatory impulse keeps you from having a satisfying sex life and ultimately, can keep you from having a healthy relationship.

If you suffer from premature ejaculation, then you’re unable to delay and control ejaculation.  You may lose control and ejaculate directly after penetration or soon after stimulation.  If you’re unable to maintain ejaculatory control, then you are very much at the mercy of your arousal levels.

LONG-STANDING PROBLEM?  If this has been a pattern throughout your life, if it has been going on for a while, then you may have developed habits that are contributing to the problem and adding to the challenge of establishing good ejaculatory control.  These habits include “thinking of something non-arousing,” which is a commonly heard but unhelpful suggestion.  Or, simply masturbating before intercourse.  Alone, these ‘tricks’ don’t get to the heart of the problem.  They don’t teach you how to have control over the ejaculatory impulse.  Ultimately, you’re left without the necessary tools you need to insure you can rely upon your own ability to delay ejaculation until you and your partner are ready.

LEARNING EJACULATORY CONTROL:  Good sex therapy with a trained professional can help to change that permanently.  After ruling out medical or other clinical causes, good sex therapy can help you with establishing and maintaining reliable ejaculatory control in any situation, and with any partner.  You won’t need to masturbate prior to intercourse, and you won’t need to re-focus your thoughts.

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