At Long Island Counseling, we want you to have a successful and supportive relationship. However, for many couples, the high stress nature of modern life gets in the way. This is why we’re happy to offer relationship counseling and couples therapy in Long Island. Our dedicated relationship counselor will help you and your partner achieve new levels of communication and work through many of the challenges that may prevent your relationship from moving forward in the way you would like it to. In-between sessions, there are a few ways you can continue to improve your relationship on your own.
Don’t Make Assumptions
A successful relationship is one in which the lines of communication are open. Rather than assuming your partner feels a certain way, or will make a certain decision, talk to them. Avoid jumping to conclusions or making assumptions about how your partner will react to a particular situation. You want to work together with your partner to overcome any obstacles, and talking to them, even about the difficult stuff, is the best way to start.
Stay Calm and Avoid Reacting to Situations
If your partner comes to you with a concern or a problem, hear them out. Let them explain their situation and express their emotions, even if they’re upset or frustrated with you. Rather than reacting with the first emotion you feel, potentially sparking an argument or disagreement, respond to their concerns. Take time to think before you speak and focus on resolving the situation at hand. When you avoid that knee-jerk emotional reaction, you help reduce the amount of stress in the conversation and encourage rational discussion to achieve a resolution.
Acknowledge the Small Things
Treat your partner with respect every time you interact with them. When you’re stressed out, either with your relationship or your life, it’s easy to take it out on those closest to you. Rather than using your partner as a scapegoat, blaming them for every little thing that is aggravating you, thank them for the little things and remember to do nice things for them in return. For example, if you know your partner dislikes clutter, take a few moments to tidy up at the end of the day. If your partner does something nice for you, express your thanks. Often, acknowledging these small acts of kindness can reduce stress built up in our relationships by expressing our appreciation of our partners.
Pity parties are easy to start, and once the cycle of negativity begins, it can be difficult to break out of it. Instead of allowing your partner to wallow in their own misery, work to encourage them and build them up. After all, your partner should be your support system and someone you can lean on. When you’re focusing on building them up rather than letting them continue to see the negative sides of their day, you’re actually encouraging them to see their own worth. If they truly are at fault for the situation, be proactive in helping them look for a solution. Remember, the more you work together as a team, the stronger your relationship can become.
Take Care of Yourself
When you’re expending lots of energy working to improve your relationship, you might find that you focus heavily on helping your partner. No matter how much work you believe your relationship needs, you should always remember to take care of yourself. While you don’t have to schedule a spa day, you should take time to pamper yourself every once in awhile, even if all you do is make yourself a cup of your favorite herbal tea.
If you’re looking to improve communication in your relationship or need help navigating through a difficult time with your partner, schedule an appointment at Long Island Counseling today.